Explaining “Teve Torbes”

This post came about as a result of listening to a podcast today.  I kid you not.

I’m a fan of Christopher Titus and consequently have become a regular listener of the Titus Podcast.  This week’s episode featured George Carlin’s daughter, Kelly.  Personally, I was looking forward to the episode seeing as I follow both Kelly and Titus on Twitter because I believe what they have to say is worth hearing.  Not to mention I knew they’d talk a bit about George, and I always have time to hear the Carlin perspective.  The guy was one of a few who shaped how I think and with the way this country is headed, I realize that he saw it all coming along.  I encourage you to go listen to both of their podcasts.  You’ll find more truth from them than you will on the news.

Anyway, this week’s episode didn’t disappoint, and they were on the topic of comedians finding their voices on stage, how the stage persona is not the everyday persona, and how who you are in your twenties is not necessarily who you truly are.  It got me to thinking about these posts and my various writings over the years.

I start many of these posts with a disclaimer because I realize I tend to write the same way I speak when I’m wound up about a topic.  I don’t have much of a thoughts-to-speech filter as it is, but I try to engage it as much as possible.  However, when I have a strong opinion on a topic, the filter gets bypassed and I end up stuttering and using curse words in place of “uh” and “um” in a ridiculous attempt to express myself in a meaningful, adult manner.  I’ll pace, rant, chain-smoke, gesture dramatically, and let it all pour out of my mouth like verbal diarrhea with chunks of the Seven Deadly Words.

How’s THAT for a visual?

Normally, my wife has to endure this, and she is a saint for doing so.  Mainly because A) I’m preaching to the choir and B) because to anyone who happens to witness these rants, it has to look like I’m just heaping verbal abuse on her.  Nope, I’m just frothing at the mouth about the latest example of stupidity in the world.  Now, I should know better.  I should just realize that people are generally jackwagons.  Can’t seem to get past that though.  Gallagher (the guy who smashed watermelons with a hammer) once said “You have to approach ignorance and stupidity when you see it and say something about it.  If you leave ignorance and stupidity alone, ignorance and stupidity will think it’s okay.”  I first heard that line when I was about 7-8 years old and it stuck.  Which is what leads to these infrequent posts….although looking at the news, they may become more frequent.

As for the “Teve Torbes” part…that’s twofold.  First, the name came from an old Saturday Night Live skit and a couple of friends tagged me with it.  Second, I developed a wee bit of a reputation for ranting about stupidity, usually while driving.  Hey, I lived on the East Coast for many years, therefore I had PLENTY of examples on the road.  The same friends who gave me the nickname would usually receive a phone call while I was driving and would get to hear me swear, curse, castigate, and question the ancestry of whatever idiot was on the road at the time.  It got to the point when I’d call, I’d announce “Teve Torbes time” and they’d put me on speaker.  Apparently they found it funny.  From then on, Teve Torbes became a sort of character for when I didn’t care about being offensive.  On the up side, I could say exactly what I wanted.  On the down side, carrying on like a rabid homeless lunatic tends to not be taken seriously.  I suppose that’s for the best.  While that character is a part of who I am, it’s not who I truly am on a daily basis.  This is probably a good thing because that Teve Torbes guy is a dick who will get me fired.

All of the above was to get to this:  I’m tired of writing disclaimers when I have zero intent of apologizing for my words.  If I expect someone to be offended, I’m just going to announce that it’s a “Teve Torbes post” and let it go from there.

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